Amy Millan I Went to Find You
On her third solo album, and first in fifteen years, Amy Millan delivers a dream. Over nine songs, I Went To Find You slips across unconscious borders naturally. In one moment (“Wire Walks”), Millan’s vision settles on a tightrope unanchored from the ground and falling for what seems to be forever. Just as naturally, this tightrope becomes a highway in “The Overpass” as Millan spins memories of precarious, twenty-something living. Whether it’s in that cityscape or the dimly lit kitchen (of the album’s opener “Untethered”) where the telephone rings with some kind of news, I Went To Find You moves seamlessly across a cluttered landscape of memories.
Writing this, I realize I’ve made up the kitchen and imagined the news —whether good, bad, or harmless gossip—has something to do with “those habits they took enough of the time” and “hard knocks measured by scars.” The song doesn’t say nearly this much. But the images are vivid. And like dreams, there is a sea to interpret.
I Went To Find You is watery, thanks especially to Jay McCarrol’s role as producer and co-writer. There are lush string arrangements and synthesizers, reverberant decay on instruments that might otherwise be dry, and an intoxicating pull from horns that swirl under the surface. These layers build. On “Make Way for Waves,” open chords with a heavy tremolo carry this dream-like feeling. But it is never without a current. A drum loop composed by Evan Cranley pushes the song forward from beginning to end. And Millan’s voice, which almost always seems to rise up from her head, gives listeners something to float on.
As the title suggests, this is a record of Millan’s journeying back to the feeling, she says, “of being a kid, putting on my pajamas and being so excited for nighttime, because that’s when my dad and I would sing together.” He died soon after—before she turned five. This album gives an account of her life to build connection through music.
I Went To Find You is an expression of this journey. On on each listen, it’s obvious that it’s so much more. This is an artifact that brings listeners to share in the oneiric journey. With fine-tuned composition from the first note to the last, I Went To Find You is a vessel of this communion.
I believe it every time the liquid and turbulent “Borderline” slips into “Kiss That Summer.” The first time I followed the transition, I thought it sounded like a smile with Mark Wheaton’s old-fashioned backbeat taking form as a welcome contrast to the half-time that saturates this collection.The second time, I thought it sounded like the last song in a John Hughes movie, now noticing the keys and muted guitars that weave around. Sometime later, I was singing along and echoing that friend’s bit of advice: “Easy now,” with a looooong E.
It hit me. I was smiling too because the song had made me do it.
This shared feeling is a wonder in a time when so much of our time is spent with media that disconnects us from each other and ourselves. When waking up in the morning brings us out of one kind of dreaming and into another. When clips from podcasts or news reports or social media bombard our conscious minds with silly-little skits, world-ending news, entrepreneurial self-help, or whatever other scene your algorithm has brought to your attention before really even being awake.
On I Went To Find You, Amy Millan and Jay McCarrol have written songs for a better kind of dreaming. And with “Lost River Diamonds,” the closing instrumental, they ease back into this difficult and waking world. So listen to this record. Bottom to top. When it stops spinning, it may not have made anything any easier, but if you’re like me, it will certainly feel fuller.
I Went to Find You is out on May 30 from Last Gang Records. Grab your copy here!
All songs on I Went To Find You were written by Amy Millan and Jay McCarrol, except “Make Way for Waves,” which was written by Amy Millan, Jay McCarrol, and Christopher Seligman.
Amy Millan contributed vocals, guitar, and additional drums. Jay McCarrol contributed guitar, keys, synth, ukelele, Taurus bass, yoga dings and gong, kitchen, additional vocals, additional drums, and drum loop treatment. Evan Cranley contributed bass, baritone guitar, trombone, percussion, synth, MS20, Mellotron, piano, kitchen, drum loop, additional drums, and additional vocals. Jace Lasek contributed guitar and percussion. Mark “Bucky” Wheaton contributed drums. Gordon Hiland contributed saxophone. Jesse Zubot contributed violin, strings, and string arrangement. And Rebecca Foon contributed cello.
Jay McCarrol produced I Went To Find You with additional production by The Diamonds, Amy Millan, Evan Cranley, and Jace Lasek. Jace Lasek engineered all songs, except “Don Valley,” and he mixed “Untethered,” “Borderline,” “Don Valley,” and “Murmurations.” Jimmy Shaw engineered “Don Valley.” And Peter Catis mixed “Wire Walks,” “Kiss That Summer,” “Make Way for Waves,” and “The Overpass.” It was recorded primarily at Lost River Studios—as well as The BirdHouse, Breakglass Studio, Inner Midnight Studio, and Main Street.
